How to Turn Anger and Anxiety into Powerful Allies
As coaches, we sometimes encounter clients who struggle with chronic anger or anxiety, or those who seem to never express these emotions at all. We need to reflect on what role these emotions play in our overall well-being, and how can we respond to them constructively.
We can help our clients to realise that denying emotions, or reacting unthinkingly, can cause them to miss crucial guidance for a more fulfilling life
My awareness of the powerful influence of our emotions has come through my own life journey. I grew up in a home where the coded message was ‘Nice girls don’t get angry.’ But I discovered that ignored emotions don’t go away –they fester. Like a stone in the shoe, we hobble along until eventually the increasing discomfort forces us to do something about it. As I approached forty, life became increasingly challenging for me. My suppressed anger led to me developing a ‘Poor Me’ attitude! Years of stifled emotion had eroded my well-being and damaged both my work and home relationships. It was at that point of desperation that I started reading about Emotional Intelligence, and recognised that I needed to learn to listen to my inner self. I stopped blaming others for my unhappiness and determined to become captain of my own ship, which included navigating the stormy seas within. It was a slow journey back to health – but by aligning my anger to my advantage, instead of trying to pretend it wasn’t there, I began building the life I wanted to live.
As coaches, we can guide clients to recognise their emotions and realign these to help them achieve their goals. When we help clients move beyond being trapped in anger or anxiety, we empower them to see these emotions not as roadblocks, but as opportunities. The key is in reframing: strong emotions aren’t liabilities—they’re signals that can help us to resolve conflict, improve communication and deepen connection. Anger and anxiety can either hold us back or, when understood, propel us forward.
Our feelings are never wrong, it’s what we do with them that counts. So, the next time anger or anxiety shows up for you—or your client—ask, ‘What is this emotion trying to tell me?’ By listening closely, you will discover that these feelings hold the keys to the transformation you and your clients are seeking.
Val Mullally will be hosting a webinar for UCA on “Aligning Anger and Anxiety to Our Advantage” on Tuesday 26th November 14:00 – 15:30 (GMT) 2024
Val also offers Creative SuperVision, providing 1:1 and group support to coaches and leaders in Education and the Caring Professions.
Val’s Profile linkedin.com/in/valmullally
Email val@valmullally.com
Websites
Next Steps:
Events:
Click Here to Register for this Event ‘‘Transformative Coaching: Aligning Anger and Anxiety to our Advantage’ taking place on Tuesday 26th November at 14:00 – 15:30 (GMT)
Join UCA Group Supervision Sessions to discover the benefits of regular supervision, Click Here to find the next sessions available on our Events Calendar
Self-development:
Follow UCA on LinkedIn – UCA LinkedIn Page
Visit the Supervision pages on the UCA website – to consider the benefits and book Group Supervision Sessions
Visit the UCA Accreditation pages on the Website to discover the benefits of: UCA Accreditation
